Figuratively Fine

"I wish that I could fly away..."

-Nora Jones

So, to come back from a vacation away from blogging, I'll blog about leaving. Appropriate, no? :)

In 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', Holly does all her planning in-the-moment style. She goes to New York simply because she'd never been there before. I know I'm more than a little obsessed with this movie, (if I liked cats enough to have one, I would name it 'Cat') but those were truely the days. The days before life was too complicated to make anything work and when being a good amount of crazy was acceptable. The days when little coffee shops and cafes flourished, simply because that's how life was. Now its all about chain stores that put these little shops under.

Maybe this is why I like Europe so much. To get the things you need, you go to the store that specializes in it, not a supermarket, or supermarche. The cheese shop, the bakery, the butcher shop. You know your people and they know you. The hyped-up, impersonal life just isnt for me, I suppose.

The more I find myself wrapped in responsibility, the more I want to get away. Be a few years farther down the road so things can start happening. I would have adventures of moving to new places, helping new people, discovering new ways of being. Being in one state of being too long creates a fear that doesnt go away until the next big change presents itself. I've come to believe, whether or not it is actually true, that if I create my change, I can better control the changes around me. Or at least handle change better. Becoming comfortable in one state creates a vulnerability to the change that will no doubt present itself eventually.

Bringing this back to getting away and leaving, every morning as I leave work, I watch planes take off from the Salt Lake City International Airport. I dont know where they're going, when they'll be there, or who is on them, all I know is that I wish I was invited. People on planes are going places, literally and figuratively. They're on business or vacation or moving or coming back to somewhere. They have a destination and a goal in mind for that destination; expectations from their travel. Its much easier to see where you're going when it is literal and figurative.

Instead, I am job hunting so I can stay longer and exist the same for a few more years. Three. Three more years before I can expect life to hand me somewhere to go, literally and figuratively. In three years, the opportunities are endless. Almost every state has a school with the program I want. All I have to do is apply and be accepted somewhere where I want to be. In the mean-time I am figuratively going many places.

Figuratively off to my many waiting adventures.