"I was in another lifetime, one of toil and blood"
-Bob Dylan
Ever feel like someone has it out for you? Ever feel like life has it out for you? Yeah. Thats me right now.Sometimes making it to the next day is an accomplishment even of itself... Maybe crossing off everything on the to-do list cant be the ultimate goal anymore. The only goal each day is to get through; to be able to say 'Today didnt kill me.' The last few weeks have been full of days like these. Making it through the day with smiles on the outside and heart-wrenching, lonely pain on the inside is all life will let me have many days.
Remember my post that I will not live planning to be happy later? I lied. I realized that when today is unbearable, tomorrow seems bright and full of hope. There is nothing wrong with having faith in the future being better. There is also nothing wrong with being a little run-down at times. Now, is one of those times. Relying on tomorrow being better gets me through the day today.
In Breakfast at Tiffany's (one of my favorite movies), Holly talks about being afraid, but not knowing what you're afraid of. The Mean Reds. I have a strong case of the Mean Reds. I am very much afraid, but cannot pin-point what the true fear is.
Now to stand up and say life's a fact. Thats the only way to make it through.
With that, here's to hoping tomorrow is better than today.
